Genevieve, a sleep-deprived mother, believes her car covered in eggs is a joke until her cocky neighbor Brad acknowledges he did it because her car was obstructing his elaborate Halloween display. Angry but too tired to argue, Genevieve promises to discipline him.
I was so exhausted that I could hardly recall whether I had brushed my teeth or fed the dog.
Even though Lily and Lucas were my darling babies, managing two newborns primarily by myself was an enormous undertaking. It had been months since I had slept through the night. The neighborhood was buzzing with excitement as Halloween approached, but I wasn’t.
I was barely able to keep up with the suburban celebrations, let alone decorate.
Brad came next.
You’d think the man’s life depended on how seriously he took Halloween. He transformed his home into a haunted carnival every year, complete with enormous jack-o’-lanterns, gravestones, and skeleton dioramas.
And the arrogant expression on his face whenever he received praise? Please.
The whole block was mesmerized by his spectacle. But me? I was too busy trying to keep my eyes open to care about Brad’s stupid haunted house.
It was a regular October morning when things started to unravel.
I shuffled outdoors with Lily on one hip and Lucas cradled in my arm. I blinked at the sight before me. Somebody had egged my car! Broken fragments of shell were caught in the semi-congealed sludge, which was trickling down the windshield like some twisted breakfast special.
“Are you kidding me?” As I stared at the mess, I mumbled.
The previous evening, I had parked in front of Brad’s house. Not that I had many options. I had parked near our entrance because it was tough to push the twins’ stroller all the way from down the street.
I initially assumed it had to be a joke. However, my hypothesis was confirmed when I saw that the egg splatters extended all the way to Brad’s front porch.
Brad would have approved of this.
Brad didn’t care that he didn’t have a right to the curb for his extravagant Halloween display. During Halloween, the man was as protective as a wolf.
I could hardly control the anger that was rising within of me as I marched to his house. I didn’t care that I knocked on his door more forcefully than I probably should have. I had had enough of being kind.
“What?” Brad, appearing more arrogant than normal, opened it. I swear, his arrogance just radiated from him as he crossed his arms over his chest.
Halloween was already in full swing at his residence. The whole ridiculous mess, included a witch relaxing on one of the Adirondack chairs, a plastic skeleton waving at me from the porch, and fake cobwebs hanging from the gutters.
I didn’t waste any time. “Did you notice who stole my car?”
Brad remained still.
As though he were informing me the time of day, he added, “I did it.” “Your car is obstructing my decorations’ view.”
Stunned, I gazed at him. “My car was parked in front of your house, so you egged it? You wrecked it without even asking me to move it.
He shrugged, utterly unconcerned. “If people can’t see my display from the road, how can they appreciate it?”
I blinked. I briefly believed I could have misheard him. “Are you for real?”
He had the audacity to shrug.
“I’m the Halloween King! People travel from all over to see this display, Genevieve. I’m simply asking for a little cooperation. You’re always parked there. It’s insensitive and it’s hurting the vibe.”
Inconsiderate? I was balancing two babies, barely keeping it together, and this man, this egomaniac, was talking to me about inconveniences?
I yelled, “I apologize if my life interferes with your eerie cemetery.” Brad, I have twins. twins who were born.
He leaned against the doorframe as if we were talking about the weather and added, “Yeah, I know.” “Perhaps you ought to park somewhere else.”
“I park there because it makes it easier for me to get to my car when I’m pushing a stroller and carrying two babies!”
Brad gave a shrug. “Genvieve, that isn’t my concern. Listen, after Halloween is done, you are welcome to park there once more.
My rage was seething over as I stood there, unable to speak. It’s odd, though, since fatigue puts out anger before it can burn too brightly.
“All right,” I said.
Rather than yelling, I pivoted and returned inside, trembling with a mixture of annoyance and incredulity.
Later, however, as I cleaned the egg off my car, something clicked.
Brad wasn’t your average overly enthusiastic, innocuous neighbor. I had had enough of this bully. He was free to play dirty if he so desired. I was going to play more cleverly.
That night, while I was cuddling Lily to sleep in the nursery, I had a brilliant idea. Brad’s pride was his vulnerability. He needed everyone to be talking about his spooky house. I lacked the stamina for conflict, but retaliation? I could manage that.
After waiting a day, I walked idly over to his yard as he was adorning his front porch with even more decorations.
I said, attempting to sound upbeat, “Hey, Brad.” “I’ve been thinking that blocking your display was pretty rude of me. You always work really hard at it. Have you given upgrading it any thought?
He hesitated, wary. “Upgrade?”
Yes, such as some high-tech devices. Ghost projectors and fog machines, you know. You already have a fantastic setup, but those would truly make an impression if you want to make an impression.
I knew I had him when his eyes brightened.
Brad was a cliche. He would seize the opportunity to outshine the neighborhood.
I listed a few brands that I have studied. All of them were awful devices with one-star ratings that were known for malfunctioning and acquiring odd flaws. However, he didn’t have to be aware of that.
“You think so?” he inquired, already planning his Halloween masterpiece in his mind.
“Oh, of course. The neighbors would be talking about you.
I left feeling contented after saying that. I just needed to wait now.
Brad’s house appeared to be straight out of a horror film when Halloween night finally arrived. He had, predictably, gone all out.
On the pavement, children and parents were gathered in awe of the fog spreading across his lawn. Standing in the center of it all, Brad reveled in their praise.
I felt like a villain in a low-budget drama as I watched from my porch with Lily and Lucas curled up in my lap. His setup looked amazing, I had to concede, until it didn’t.
Just as expected, the fog machine stalled and began spraying water like a garden hose in place of that creepy, atmospheric mist. Brad panicked, children giggled, and the crowd gasped.
He hurried to the machine and pressed buttons, attempting to stop it.
It wasn’t over, though. His beloved focal point, the ghost projector, flickered on and off, creating a twitchy, cartoonish ghoul that resembled a crazy blob more than a ghost. Parents laughed, and now the children were laughing aloud.
Then the last blow was delivered. In slow motion, his enormous Frankenstein inflatable deflated, its head sliding around the yard in a humorous manner.
Some adolescent lads found that amusing, so they snatched up a carton of eggs and threw them at Brad’s house with joyous accuracy, all in the spirit of Halloween fun.
It was too late, but Brad was losing it and frantically attempting to save what little dignity he still had. There was no way out of his haunted home of horrors, which had become a haunted house of comedy.
I was feeding Lucas the following morning when the door was knocked on. When I opened it, Brad appeared to be deflated. A lot like his Frankenstein. For a moment, I nearly felt sorry for him because he wasn’t acting like his typical arrogant self.
He muttered, without quite looking me in the eye, “I, uh, wanted to apologize.” “For damaging your vehicle.” I reacted too strongly.
I paused before answering, crossing my arms. “You did, indeed.”
“I simply… You know, I had no idea how difficult it must be with the twins and everything. Uncomfortable, he rubbed the back of his neck. “I apologize.”
I watched him writhe while I let the silence to linger for a little while longer. I appreciate your apology, Brad. I have no doubt that it won’t occur again.
Eager to get out of the embarrassing situation, he nodded rapidly. “No, it won’t.”
I couldn’t resist saying, “Funny how things have a way of balancing out, huh?” as he turned to go.
He looked back, and Brad was silent for once.
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